Auntyji says… Yes! You may well be on your way of becoming that ‘awful person’. To your bf at least. But why is the question, dear? Let’s find out and let’s squash it out. Show
Expectations not met?There is no denying that we hurt people we love the most. But why? I can tell you my own reasons. One of them is that we set our expectations too high from them. They have to be just PERFECT in every way. While we can get off by being mean and nasty. Now that’s a bit of a conundrum, isn’t it? I will also say that people who say they don’t have expectations are delusional. We have expectations from everyone, said and unsaid. That’s what makes a relationship. The closer you get, the higher your expectations. That’s where the trouble is. Set someone up too high, they are bound to fall and it’s only YOU who feels the crash, the hardest. So tone your expectations down, my dear! Lose it or lose himNow, your man is understanding and sweet about it. How long will he remain so? And that’s another reason you may be doing it. Just because he is allowing it. Imagine Joy, if he had asked this question here? My gf is very mean to me and always puts me down. What should I do? What advise do you think I would have offered? Yehi na ki chadd puttar, jaan de. This girl is not a nice person to be with. Surely, you are not that, Joy. Just because he is taking it, doesn’t mean you dole it out, girl. Bechare ki bhalayee ko kamzori na samjho. Don’t misunderstand his nice attitude for his weakness. Do you know that song, puttar? “Tum chale jaoge to sochenge, humne kya khoya humne kyaa paaya…” It roughly translates to, “If you were to leave one fine day, I will wonder what we lost and what we gained.” Help at handJoy, I think it is good that you feel bad instantly after hurting him. It means that you realise your fault and you apologise for the same. If you feel sorry, you must really stop it. Watch yourself. Control that urge to snap and to criticise. Watch your words, very consciously.
Ask him to help you. Each time he feels you are beginning to lose it, tell him he is allowed to leave the room, put on his head phones, end or leave the conversation. Ask him to tell you what he doesn’t like or feel bad about. It doesn’t have to be a huge task. Something as simple as, “Please don’t say that! It hurts.” Usually, intervention is enough to douse the anger and hit home to realisation. Break that habitSomeone made a list of all the mean things she used to do to her bf, in just one day. The list included behavioural traits like making a face, rolling her eyes, verbal or non verbal criticism, constant comments and comparison. At the end of the list, she was shocked to know how mean she could be. May be you can try that too? I can understand that it is super tough to change. Especially when you are already in a habit. I can understand betiyaa, but please try. Try because you are not that mean girl and your guy is not someone who deserves this. Hai na? To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model. Have you and your partner been mean to each other? Write your concerns as comments or post them on Facebook. If you have any questions, join our discussion forum. Download Article Download Article It’s not fun to deal with an angry person. It’s even worse when that person is your boyfriend and his anger causes him to say or do things that are mean and hurtful. Whether it’s name calling, insults, or yelling, dealing with an angry boyfriend can be incredibly stressful. However, by being quietly strong in your approach to your boyfriend’s anger, you can set the tone for a more respectful, productive, and healthy relationship.
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Advertisement ReferencesAbout This ArticleArticle SummaryX Dealing with a boyfriend who is mean when he's angry can be challenging, but fortunately there are some simple tricks you can use to cope with the situation. For example, tell him that you understand he’s upset so he knows you hear him and care about him. For instance, say something like, “I understand that you’re upset that I didn’t call you.” If he continues to shout or act aggressively, ask him to take a timeout and come back to the conversation when you’re both calmer. Once he’s calmed down and you’ve resolved the situation, have a conversation with him to tell him your boundaries, such as not letting him shout at you or call you names, and reserving the right to walk away from a situation if you feel uncomfortable. Explain that you need him to respect your boundaries for your relationship to work. For more tips from our co-author, including how to deal with your own anger when your boyfriend gets mean or aggressive, read on! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 678,994 times. Reader Success Stories
Did this article help you?How do I stop being moody to my boyfriend?5 Ways to Protect Your Relationship from Moodiness. Spend time alone to process. Do your best to uncover how you are feeling and get a grip on yourself. ... . Put things into perspective. Things are hardly ever as bad as they first seem. ... . Stop making the problem worse. ... . Ask for support. ... . Cultivate a positive mood.. Why do I keep snapping at my boyfriend?If you find yourself lashing out at your partner on a regular basis, it's likely that you're running into a personal emotional trigger within the relationship. An emotional trigger is anything - including a memory, an experience, or an event - that sparks an intense emotional reaction inside you.
Why do I say mean things to my boyfriend?Low self-esteem
Those of us with low confidence levels can sometimes try to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves. Maybe your partner is jealous of your success, or wishes they were as confident as you in some things, so they try to bring you down by saying hurtful things.
Is it normal to get angry at your boyfriend?Irritation, annoyance, and anger are all normal emotions. If you're easily annoyed with your partner, there are ways to manage your feelings.
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