How to get fired and collect unemployment reddit

Start shitting and pissing yourself in sensitive area. Like in food service, empty your bowels in the kitchen (take laxatives first and make sure it's all gooooooeyyyyy), or in retail drop gooey loads in the boss' office, at a crowded check out lane, or the meat wall, deli section, bakery counter, or even in the cold storage!

Make sure you half ass attempt to hit the restroom. If you aren't fired immediately, fake a doctor visit and return but do it again. When asked what is wrong, make sure you have a good alibi and piss yourself while you're at it.

When in doubt, sing to yourself in your head "Just keep shitting, just keep shitting, just keep shitting shitting shittiiiiing"

Go ahead and apply. This does 2 things. It sets you up to receive it if you qualify, and it requires your old employer to respond to it if they want to deny your claim. Your new job might start in 2 weeks, but the future is never 100% so myriad things could happen between now and then making that not happen. If you're already collecting, you just keep collecting. And if your claim is denied, at least you know you mildly inconvenienced your former employer. Petty, sure, but so was their letting you go immediately.

u/Scooby_seriouslydont makes a great point. If your claim is denied, absolutely appeal it. Employers don't like approving UI because it can increase their costs, so even if you qualify chances are good that your former employer will say you don't. Has happened to me twice (I've only collected twice).

Posted by8 months ago

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My company got acquired recently and the acquiring company is trying to push other people’s jobs on me. I am still working, but I refuse to work anything past 8 hour days. I recently refused to take up another person’s job and told them they needed to hire more people as half my team has quit in the past few months. I am still working diligently but am falling behind because management is such a clusterfuck. If they fire me, would I still be able to collect unemployment?

level 1

Hahahaha this question is unbelievable, but I do not blame you. I am about to quit but put 2 week notice. I prob quit next month.

level 1

It can definitely happen. What others are saying here is not necessarily true. In my state, if you're fired for breaking a company policy that is consistently enforced then you probably won't receive unemployment. If you're fired for being incompetent at your job then you may receive benefits. You can also receive benefits if you quit and can justify that you left because you were at extraordinary risk in getting the coronavirus. It's best not to go off reddit for this. Every state has their own rules for receiving unemployment. Find those documents and make your move based on that.

level 2

It's not impossible to collect UI after getting fired but generally you have a much, much higher burden of proof than in other circumstances.

Regardless, OP should research their individual state's rules and not make plans that rely on UI income until after they've collected it. Otherwise they could be in a bad spot.

level 1

Um, if you're fired for cause you can't collect UI. UI is for people who lost their job through no fault of their own (poor job performance is within your control, therefore it's not covered under UI.) You would have to be fired for an unjust reason (like discrimination) to collect UI.

level 2

Not necessarily. Years ago I was fired from a Sam's Club for repeatedly coming in late because my shift started at 5 a.m. I was the opening receiver. When I went to plead my case, I told them the company failed to offer me a position in the afternoon or evening. I won.

level 1

Not gonna happen. Whole foods fights claims and wins nearly every time. If you're fired you don't get a free ride. You're fired because you aren't good at your job in some capacity. Unemployment doesn't cover you if you get fired bc you messed up.

level 1

You would need to be let got for staff downsizing or something completely out of your control. Meaning, anything you could do that would result in you being fired would disqualify you from unemployment. But honestly if this is your attitude I don’t think it’ll be long before you find yourself without a job anyway.

level 1

Lol I dont think I know of anyone that was able to collect unemployment.

level 1

Don't get fired for time and attendance. There are so many warnings and occurrences that happen before you are fired Whole Foods always wins those cases for unemployment. Usually work performance doesn't get contested because they don't want to bring the leaders into court to talk about who trained you and how long they spent. They don't win those often, so they don't show up to fight them. Don't do anything like stealing or showing up drunk, unemployment people won't even ask whole foods for their side they just deny it. So go skip your temp logs, and put something back on the wrong shelf. That should get you fired.

level 2

idk i was backed into a corner being involuntarily transferred and considered this. I ended up just quitting to be on good terms with the company but Its hard times and you cant really blame them.

level 2

UI doesn't pay out to people who were fired for job performance issues like attendance. UI is for people who lost their job through no fault of their own.

level 1

Do a no call no show to the company you work for…1/2 way into your shift call them and tell them you had car issues and you were on your way to work but your phone died so you weren’t able to call out…and you had to wait for a tow and get your car fixed that’s why you are calling in later in the day …then if they say you are excused do the same exact thing the next day it worked for me…first I told them my tire lost air and left me on the side of the road and the next day I told them my car wouldn’t start …and boom I was done 😝

What do you collect when you get fired?

Can you get unemployment if you get fired Texas?

How do I get a job after being fired for poor performance?