Fatwa ID: 03056
Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
Is it ok to kiss the mouth or suck the tongue of your prepubescent daughter or son out of paternal love?
Answer:
بسماللهالرحمنالرحيم
In The Name Of Allah, The Most-Merciful, The Most Kind
Kissing young children is from the mercy which Allah (SWT) which the Prophet (PBUH) taught us.
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kissed-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra' bin H`Abis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqrasaid, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." [[1]]
Ibn Batal said that kissing a small child on any of his body parts is permissible, most scholars have also included the same ruling for an older child, and as long as it’s not from the awrah. [[2]]
All this is when there is no desire. If there is desire when kissing, it will not be permitted. [[3]]
Sucking the tongue of your child is strongly advised against because sucking the tongue is a known precursor to sexual intercourse. As your child reaches the age where they are close to the age of ten (or for a daughter earlier if she reaches puberty before then) you should also stop kissing on the lips, as a prevention of falling into fitna. The Prophet (PBUH) taught us to separate the beds at 10 years of age [[4]], and this also applies for a child with his/parents, so now try to imagine what greater risk there is in kissing your near mature child on the lips and more so sucking their tongue.
In a time where there is so much fitna spreading, where even paedophilia and sexual abuse of children are rife, it is fundamental that we take all precautions to avoid coming close to this source of fitna with the Amanah of one’s own children.
Only Allah (SWT) knows best
Answered By Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1]Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith Number 5997
[2] Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalaani, Fathul Bari, Volume 10, Page 427
[3] Ibn Abideen, Raddul Muhtaar, Volume 6, Page 380
[4] Ibid, Volume 6, Page 382
الرَّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمُ الرَّحْمَنُ ارْحَمُوا مَنْ فِي الأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ
"The merciful are shown mercy by Ar-Rahman. Be merciful on the earth, and you will be shown mercy from He who is above the heavens".
The Prophet (saw) encouraged us to kiss our children. There's nothing sexual, abusive, or cruel to kiss a young child on their lips, and so there's no reason for its prohibition.
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I kissed a baby on the lips purposely around 8-12 times, does this make me a child molester?
I feel so ashamed of myself. As I grew older, I committed zina more than ten times with different escorts.
I knew it was wrong each time but could not control myself. I feel so ashamed, can’t sleep at night, and hate myself. People in my family view me as a good individual but have no clue what an idiot and terrible person I am.
Can someone please help me?
Answer
Thank you for your follow-up question. In my previous answer to you, I addressed the issue of fornication, and not the kissing of the baby.
Intention
First of all, just kissing a baby on the lips, in and of itself, is not a sin. Many do it naturally. What was your intention when you kissed the baby on the lips? Deriving pleasure from it would be impermissible.
Caution
I would not label you as a child molester, but because you have fornicated, I urge you to stop kissing babies. Only you know your intention from that time, and you know if you should repent. If your intention was wrong, repent sincerely, and Allah will forgive you and change you, and you will never desire it again, by His grace. Always keep far away from the limits that Allah has placed, especially if you fear that you will sin.
Nothing Is Difficult for Allah
Think of how many people have changed in the course of history, notably the companion, Umar ibn al-Khattab, who was on his way to kill the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), and who was said about him by the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) after he became Muslim, “If there was to be a Prophet after me, it would have been Umar bin Al-Khattab.” [Tirmidhi]
He says, Most High, “Have you not seen that Allah created the heavens and the earth for a reason? If He wills, He can eliminate you and produce a new creation. And that is not difficult for Allah ˹at all˺.” [Quran, 14:19-20]
and, He said,
“Allah Most High says: “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.